8 Tips on How to Survive Fake Patty’s Day

Graphic By: Jessica Landry

The infamous holiday that is Fake Patty’s Day in Manhattan, there are a few rules that need to be followed. March 10 is going to be one for the books, so here are some tips to make sure your wellbeing and having fun are top priorities.



1. Find a fully functioning outfit ahead of time

It is crucial to find a clever and breathable outfit planned out at least a week or so in advance. This way when the morning of comes around, no additional stress is added and there is nothing to slow you down on this glorious day.

2. Find a cheap pair of sunglasses

This strategy has been tested and proven as numerous pairs of Ray Bans have seen their final outing March afternoon in Manhattan, Kansas. RIP.

3. Explore your taste buds and find your favorite flavor of Pedialyte

Head to your favorite convenience store and stock up on TWO of these children’s nutrition products and drink the first on Friday night to ensure maximum hydration.



4. Make a list of essentials

Open your eyes on this heaven-sent holiday and make a mental note of everything you’re going to need throughout the day to ensure there are no setbacks. These things might include: phone, a few bucks or debit card, ID, chapstick, sunglasses, purse/backpack, etc.

5. Grab your green food coloring and color every alcoholic beverage throughout the day green, just because you can.
6. Have the best day imaginable; you deserve this!


7. Second Pedialyte

You know what to do. Crawl out of bed and drink the sweet survival nectar.

8. Round up the troops and grab something insanely bad for you

Wake up the roomies and roll down the windows before heading out to your favorite burger/taco/Italian restaurant.